Soar
by ARSP
Summary: Edward leaves in New Moon, but he doesn't come back. Bella is left to deal with a new coven, Victoria and her heart on her own, until she is turned into a vampire herself. What happens when they meet again after all these years?
1. Authors Note

**Soar**

**A.N.: **Hey. This is my first fanfic, so please don't be too harsh. :)

This is another one of those stories where Eddie doesn't come back when he left during New Moon, and Bella gets changed by someone else and they meet again after a long time.

I never intended on writing a fanfic at all. But I really love these types of stories, but they're not often done right. Some of you might not agree with me, but if I was a normal person and the one I was so deeply in love with suddenly leaves me alone for years to fend for myself against sadistic vampires who've dedicated themselves to finding and killing me _and_ breaks my heart into itty bitty pieces, I wouldn't exactly welcome them back into my life with open arms, no matter how much I still haven't gotten over them. It makes the story a lot easier to write if I did that, but it's a lot more believable if I don't.

Also, in the stories where Bella finds a new coven, there should be at least a few chapters for giving them at least _some _character depth. And if Bella gets into a relationship with another vampire, or anyone else for that matter, you should at least give them time to develop. Even though you know Bella ends up with Eddie, some suspense is always welcome.

So, I took it upon myself to write that story? Well, no. Not really. I'm not that good of a writer, to be honest. I'm more of a reader. I won't do this story justice, I'm sure, but I'll do my best. So, without further ado, please enjoy.


	2. Prologue

**A.N.: Wow. I'm writing a story. That's just so... strange. xD;**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, that belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Soar**

Prologue ( Bella POV )

"_Take care of yourself," He breathed, cool against my skin._

_There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage._

_He was gone._

I felt my knees giving way and I stared after him.

_He doesn't want me._

The thought ran through my head over and over. I wanted to cry, wanted so badly to wash away the pain and longing, but the tears wouldn't come. I didn't know how I felt, or rather, how I was supposed to feel. No, standing there, all I felt was the numbness that washed over me in waves, tearing into my heart and threatening to swallow me whole.

I just stood there, stupidly, for an indefinite amount of time. Night had come. The grey, oppressing clouds hung low in the bits of sky I could see from under the trees. There was a dense mist that completed the melancholy scene quite nicely. I could hear car tires splashing the ever-present puddles of water on the road somewhere outside of the forest. I wanted to run to those cars and their drivers and scream my accusations at them. Why were they carrying on as if nothing had happened? Who were they to continue on with their lives while mine was gone, carried away by the immortal being who didn't need someone as insignificant as me?

Then I found the part of my sub-science, the side that never looked at the bright side of things, laughing at me. _Of course he doesn't want you. You're only human. Someone like_ that_ should go on to bigger and better things, don't you agree? You knew this was going to happen some time. Why are you surprised?_

Suddenly, I tore myself away from where he stood, seemingly seconds ago. My body moved by itself, as if it sensed that I was going to break into pieces at any moment if I just stood there.

I ran.

I ran from the house, into the dark forest.

I ran from my feelings; the sorrow, the pain and, most of all, the desire to reach, to chase after him, yelling and screaming for him to come back.

I ran.

---

I don't know how I ended up on the cold, hard ground of a clearing in the forest. I remember a pain in my ankle, which was throbbing now. I could feel a warm liquid creeping down my foot, I was bleeding. I must've tripped at some point. The tears that were so stubborn before flowed freely now. I knew my sobs were loud, but I had no strength, or desire, to quiet them. I was probably too far in the forest for anyone to hear, anyhow. The fear of not being able to find my way home crossed my mind vaguely, but I was too numb to care.

I just lay there, for who knows how long.

Then, there was a rustle in the leaves. I turned to the direction it came from. The sound had stopped.

Suddenly, a dark figure leapt from the darkness. His face now an inch from mine, his mount upturned into a menacing grin, giving me a clear view of his razor sharp teeth. His eyes, glowing blood red against the black of the forest behind him.


	3. Chapter One

**A.N.: **Are there Asian vampires? I've never seen them in fanfics or the books. There should be. Everything's a little better with Asians. –SHOT- Anyways, the title Soar. Um, I don't know. I really don't. What was I thinking? It just sounded like a good name, alright? Don't kill me.

**Disclaimer**: Nope, don't own it.

**(Bella POV)**

Then, as quickly as he leapt, he was gone. My breathing came fast and shallow. When my eyes adjusted, I could see something struggling in the darkness.

"William!" A voice shrieked, torn between anger and concern. As I looked closer, I could see the voice coming from a smaller figure restraining the red-eyed one I saw first.

The red-eyed figure, who's name I guessed was William, broke free of the smaller one's grasp and stormed back into the trees. The smaller one called after him again and, when no response came, sighed and walked towards me.

I retreated back to the edge of the clearing awkwardly on my hand and knees. From her high voice, I had concluded that the one walking towards me was female. She paused for a second, but continued to walk, more carefully and slowly than before. She stopped a few feet in front of me.

"Sorry about that," she stuck out her hand to help me up. I looked up and saw that she had golden eyes. "My name's Emily."

---

I'm not really sure how I ended up sitting in their living room, four pairs of vampire eyes looking down on me. I didn't speak. They told me about themselves and asked about me, but I wouldn't speak. I knew my voice break and I would finally give in to that lump in my throat and start crying again.

From what I learned, there were four people in their family of sorts. There was the one girl, Emily and one that was called Roran. There was the one I had 'met' in the forest, William. The leaders name was Zaciel Fei. ( **A.N.**: That's pronounced ZA-See-El .Okay? ; )

They didn't know I knew they were vampires, I was sure of that. Like most of the vampires I've met, they were all unreasonably beautiful. Emily had inky black hair that was straight but curled into ringlets at the ends and ran down to the small of her back.

Roran had shaggy chocolate brown hair and a heart breaking smile. He was muscular, but a bit scrawny.

Zaciel had messy black hair. His looks were subtly Asian.

While Emily, Roran and Zaciel were all beautiful in their own way, there was something about Williams mahogany hair and baby face that so deeply mesmerized me. His hair color was similar to mine, but the red was more noticeable. It was short and untidy, the same style and Zaciel's, and by the way William looked at him it was cleared he revered him greatly. I found him attractive, and I was ashamed of that. I had to kick myself mentally some twenty times for thinking that way.

_Edward's just left, Bella._

No. I can't let myself think about... _him._ The name brought on another round of grief. Emily seemed to have noticed.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

I stared up at her. What was I supposed to say? Yes? But I wasn't, not even close. Should I say no? It was the truth, but why should I explain my dreary existence to these people I've just met and have never spoken a work to? So I just stared at her, unspeaking, while she stared back.

After a minute of silence, her mouth twisted into a grimace.

"Ai yah!" She exclaimed in an exasperated tone and plopped back into an armchair. She was still staring at me, scrutinizing my face. "You haven't said a word to us all night! What can we do to make you speak?"

I decided I should say something, to be polite and put her out of her misery.

"Sorry." I croaked, the sound of my voice sounded foreign to me.

Her expression lit up. "Finally!" She laughed, throwing her hands up in the air. "I was beginning to think you can't talk at all, or at least couldn't say anything besides, 'he's gone.'"

Oops. Had I been saying that out loud?

"Who's 'he?'" I turned in the direction of the voice. William leaned casually on the doorframe of the entrance with genuine curiosity on his face. "Hey," he continued sheepishly. "Sorry about what happened before, you know, in the forest."

Emily laughed again. "You almost killed her, 'sorry' isn't going to cut it, buddy." She walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. I knew she thought I would know she was joking, but I understood the seriousness behind the statement.

"Will here is still a new b-" She stopped abruptly. The rest of the family stared at me in alarm, waiting to see what I would make of her words.

"Uh... uh, I meant, that..." She struggled for an explanation, looking around franticly. "We were, um, camping, and we were hunting for game and Will isn't very good yet..." She trailed off.

"It's alright, I know about you... About vampires," I said hoarsely.

The four of them stared wide-eyed at me, shocked.

"How?" Zaciel asked after a long silence.

"I… There used to be… another coven that lived near here," I explained weakly.

"Oh, right! What was it? The Cullens?" Emily exclaimed. "I think I heard Aro talking about them once." I winced when she mentioned the Cullens, but something in my brain clicked at the mention of… Aro, was it?

Zaciel frowned at me. "How did you find out?"

"I… guessed right."

"You guessed?" William looked at me skeptically. My heart skipped a beat when his eyes turned to me, and I kicked my self again.

"There's an Indian tribe that lived never here, I heard one of their legends…" I explained nervously, not sure if I should even be telling them this.

"Humans aren't supposed to know about us," Zaciel frowned. "Does the Volturi know?"

"The… what?"

He took that ask a no. Zaciel closed his eyes and shook his head. The rest of them looked at me, still surprised.

"What's the Volturi" I asked, not sure if I wanted to know the answer.

Zaciel paused before answering. "They're an old vampire family, in Italy. Aro, Marcus and Caius. They could be called the ruling family of our kind, I guess."

"What... do they do? Should they know that I know?"

Zaciel paused for an even longer period of time. When he spoke, he looked intently at my face with a strange expression on his face. "The Volturi exist to enforce our laws."

"Actually, there's only one law." Roran spoke for he first time. I looked at him questioningly. "Humans aren't allowed to know about our kind."

I stiffened slightly. "What happens to humans who know?" I looked around the room. They all looked uncomfortable.

"They're taken care of." William concluded with finality.

My mind was silent for a second. Death. Is that what's waiting for me now?

Did I want to die?

I remembered last summer.

James had been hunting me then. I remember running into the ballet studio, him telling me Renee was safe and the feeling of relief when he did. But, even then, I knew I was afraid of dying no matter how strong a façade I put on. I was afraid, of death, because of the things I'd leave behind. Charlie. Renee. The Cullens.

Edward.

But now, I didn't have Edward anymore. He didn't want me. What was the point of living Any longer? It would make sense to die if you had nothing to live for, no one would think any the less of you, right? And if death was going to relieve me of the anguish, shouldn't I welcome it without a second thought?

But I knew inside that death was not what I wanted, or needed. Because I'm human and humans are such selfish creatures.

I looked up. "Are... are you going to kill me now? Or take me to this Volturi?"

"Of course not." I looked at Emily. Her face was stern. The strode swiftly over to pull me in to a hug. I saw out of the corner of my eyes the rest of the family shooting warning glances at her.

She pulled away and looked my square in the face. "We can't let the Volturi know about you, or they'll come for you."

"Emily," Roran stepped towards us. "Emily, it's true she would be in danger from the Volturi if they find out, but they won't have to. They'll never know. She should just get along with her life as it nothing ever happened, and no one will be any the wiser."

"No!" I screamed before I even realized what I was doing. The all turned to me. "I don't think…" I struggled to explain my feelings. "I can't do that. I'll never be able to forget, and I don't _want_ to forget. Even if it's painful."

I saw William look at me questioningly when I mentioned the pain.

"Hmm," Zaciel said thoughtfully. "Emily, maybe…"

"No." She seemed adamant. "That's not fair to her. If she doesn't want to forget, it's her choice. You know how I feel about doing that, Zaciel."

I smiled shyly at her and she smiled brightly back, but I wondered what they were talking about.

Zaciel sighed. "Then what do you propose we do about this?"

"You can't go back to you regular life, can you?" She looked at me with concern.

I shook my head. If I tried hard enough, I probably could. But I'd be a zombie, lifeless. It would make Charlie sad, and Renee would be worried. I didn't want that.

"What about the Cullens?"

"They… left."

"That makes sense," She said thoughtfully. Then her eyes sparkled. "Alright then. This is going to be fun. We fake our death, and you can come live with us. I've been looking for a shopping partner, anyway."

--- Chapter one END

Yay! The first chapter. I hope it's good so far. There are a few parts that seem hazy to me right now, but I'll work it out. I've been jotting down all my ideas in a notebook. I get inspiration at the strangest times, like listened to Sexy Back. I swear there's something wrong with me.

Before I bring Edward back into the picture, I want to be able to tell all of the Fei coven's stories first. I already got Emily and Zaciel's down. I hope you don't mind me stretching out her time with this coven a bit more.

Review, please! It makes me happy,


	4. Chapter Two

**A.N.**: This chapter has a bit of Eddie's point of view. Because I said so. :) Well, the real reason is because I just really wanted to write a bit about how Eddie's feeling. I like writing sad bits. I'm so sadistic. :0 Now, I'll answer some of your questions before I go on.

As to whether or not they're going to change Bella, well, I'll tell you this. Bella will be changed, but not necessarily by the Fei coven. And I'm not going to tell you when it's going to happen. Soon, though, of course. And no, they're not all Asian, just Emily and Zaciel. More on that later, also. Sorry if my answers seem vague, but I can't give too much away. ;)

School's just started, so my posts might be less frequent, sorry about that. I'll try to update at least once every two or three days, but you never know.

---

**(Edwards POV)**

I stared out the window of my Volvo, looking, but not seeing, the lashing rain and the blurred flashing of the street lights outside. This was the first time I ever wished I had the need to keep my eyes, and my mind, on the road and focusing on not crashing my car. But since I didn't have to, my mind was free to wander. And I really didn't want to think right now. I pulled into the driveway and dashed up the stairs to my room.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw _her. _I could only think about her, what she was doing, how she was feeling. I didn't want to think about her anymore. I wished my existence, my stone-like existence, wasn't so un-changeable. Couldn't I just cut off the part of myself that held so desperately to my memories of her, the part that willed me almost every second of the day to drive, or even run if I had to, back to Forks and beg her to forgive me? And if that was too much to ask, couldn't I will myself to turn back on that side of me and block it from my mind? Repress the need? Would I be doomed to an existence of torture of seeing her every turn I make, made only worse by the fact that my existence was eternal?

But her reaction had scared me. I was prepared to lie. I had planned out everything I was going to say to her, to make her doubt me. Make her hate me, if I had to, even though I knew that every second I stood there would kill me a little bit more inside. But I had not expected it at all to be so easy; all it took was one word.

'No.'

I saw the look on her face when I had uttered that single word, it stilled haunted me. It was an expression of pure agony, like I had stabbed a knife into her heart and twisted it. I could hear the sound of her heart cracking over the sound of my dead, un-beating one breaking apart into millions of irretrievable pieces. I had tried to convince my self that her heart was human, and it would heal. She would be able to move on, even though I knew part of me, the illogical and selfish part, didn't _want_ her to move on. Wanted her to remember me forever and _love_ me forever. Even though she could not be with me, the one thing I couldn't stand to think about her in the arms of another man, someone who wasn't me. Someone who could be so much more, do so much more for her than I could. But the selfish part of me was still feeding me thoughts of how I was the only one good enough for someone like her, the only one who could give her enough love to be worthy of being with her.

No, I needed to distract myself. Do something, _anything_ that demanded my full attention. There weren't many things that would fit that criteria, I realized that. There were only so many things that could occupy a being whose mind could wander in so many directions at once. But I couldn't just sit in my room, reaching out to hallucinations and clinging to the happier times with her.

I knew I had been useless for the past few days. At first I tried to move on, but I quickly realized that route would be impossible. I couldn't forget her while every little thing reminded me of her existence. For our kind, you can't just sand out our memories, or even repress them. I didn't know what to do, so I just stared blankly at a wall, concentrating on just letting go, not to think of anything else, become something other than what I was.

My family, Esme especially, were all almost as unhappy with my state as I was. Emmett thought of her as a younger sister of sorts, and definitely wasn't happy with me for hurting her the way I did. Rosalie didn't care much for her, but she loved our family. She couldn't bear to see me so broken over a human. Jasper still blamed himself for the entire ordeal even though the rest of the family all assured him it most definitely wasn't his fault. Carlisle and Esme were sad to see me sad. They saw me as their child, and being the loving parents they were, didn't want me unhappy. Alice refused to say a word to me, but I saw the worry, the anger and the confusion melting together in her eyes. They all controlled their thoughts around me, but words of accusation slipped out more frequently than not. Accusations I didn't even try to deny because I knew they were one hundred percent true.

Today, I guess, I just couldn't take not having her with me, not even thinking about her anymore. So I locked myself in my room, shut out their thoughts, shut out everything. I pulled me knees to my chest and closed my eyes, no bothering to shake off the longing or the pain anymore. I just let it come over me, reliving every minute I spent with her, recalling every conversation I shared with her, getting lost in the world of yesterday.

---

**(Bella POV)**

I stared at Emily with the same shocked and unbelieving expression as everyone else in the room, while Emily just looked triumphant at her stroke of brilliance.

"Emily, that's going a bit far, isn't it?" Roran said incredulously.

"Is it?" Emily smiled, unfazed.

"That's out of the question." Zaciel said firmly. "We can't just go around faking deaths and changing random humans."

Emily frowned. "I'm sure you can see the Bella isn't exactly a random, normal human." I felt my face blushing furiously even though I knew she didn't mean that in an offensive way. "Besides, who said anything about changing her?"

"We can't exactly have her live with us if she's a human, can we? You know Will's control isn't even closed to perfect yet." Roran said as William shot him a glare.

"I know that. But what else can we do?" Emily asked softly. "And, anyway, it'll be good practice for Will, wouldn't it?"

"It's hardly practice if Will kills the girl."

"He won't!"

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because Will wouldn't!"

"_How can you be so sure_?"

"Don't you think I'd have a better grasp of his control than all of you do?"

"That still doesn't mean the girl can just come _live_ with us. I'm sure she doesn't exactly appreciate being used to _practice_ on, anyhow."

"You don't mind, do you? Bella?" She turned to me.

I pondered a minute. I'd much rather come live with vampires then go off on my own, even if they weren't... his coven, they still seemed nice enough. And even though they won't change me, I'm not sure I still wanted to be changed. What was the point of immortality of there was no one to share it with? I might even enjoy being with them, maybe I'd want to be changed after all. In a few years. And William...

I shook my head.

"See?"

"I don't mind having her." Everyone stared at William. I was surprised he didn't think of me as a nuisance.

Roran sighed and sat back down in a sofa. He turned to me, brow furrowed. "Is that what you want?"

I was silent for a minute. "Well, if it's not too much trouble for you..."

Emily was suddenly in front of me, holding my hands in hers. "It's no trouble at all."

I stared nervously back at her. Is this what I really wanted? I thought of the consequences of going in this direction. Now that _he_ was out of the picture, it seemed like I had nothing to lose. But now that I have to chance to act, it seemed like I was giving up a lot of things. Most of all, it would kill Renee and Charlie if—

Wait. Charlie?

I stood up abruptly. "Charlie." I said franticly. "He's probably still out there! Looking for me! What should I do? Go out there?"

"Bella. Make you decision now." Roran looked at me. "Which path do you want to choose? You still have a choice here. If you go back out to meet the search party, you won't have another chance. Ever. If we're going to make them think you're dead, we have to do it now."

I bit my lip, a habit for when I'm nervous and under pressure. Charlie, Renee... I didn't want to hurt them. "I'm worried about... how my family would feel if I 'died.'"

Emily seemed deep in thought for a minute. "Zaciel," She began, looking a bit nervous and unsure, as if she was about to do something she knew she was going to regret. "Do you think... it would work... if I...? She knows a lot of people; would I have enough time to get to everyone before someone gets suspicious?"

Zaciel looked at her, surprised. Roran looked at Emily with an expression that was something between worry and chagrin. I noticed William leaving the room.

"Emily... You've never purposely suggested doing that." Zaciel seemed amazed.

"What the heck are you talking about?" I demanded. It sounded as if they planned to kill everyone I knew, and that definitely was _not_ how I wanted to do this.

Zaciel waved me off. "It won't work. There's not enough time. It would be the perfect solution if it weren't on such a big scale."

Emily sighed. "Then how should we go about this?"

"Let's just keep this simple. They knew she went into the forest, we could just smear her blood on a tree or something and make them think she got caught by a bear." Roran shrugged.

Emily wrinkled her nose. "Do you think that would work?"

Roran suddenly grinned. "Humans are quite easy to fool, aren't they?"

---

**ONE DAY LATER**

I sighed as I sat in their couch, waiting for Emily to come back from my house. She had left to gather some of my old clothes so I'd have something to change into and retrieve possessions I wanted to keep. I wanted to go myself, but she had said that I wouldn't be able to do it fast enough or quiet enough, and the entire faking-my-death thing wouldn't exactly work if Charlie found me in my room, packing as if I was going on a trip.

Zaciel, Roran and William all went on a hunting trip. They decided that, since I was going to be here a while, they should go hunting more than usual, especially William. William looked quite disgruntled about being treated that way, but made no objection.

So now I was left by myself in the Fei's gigantic house. It wasn't quite as big as the… other coven's, but it was still bigger than most houses in a typical suburb.

No, I still couldn't think of the 'other coven's' name, and particularly not a certain member of that coven. That was the problem with being left on my own, too much time to think. And thinking about painful things was not high on my to-do list right now.

So I decided I should keep myself busy somehow. I went up the spare room that was now mine. Then I realized all my books were still at my old house, so I decided to explore the house a little. It wasn't snooping, I convinced myself, but I needed to know more about these vampires if I was going to live with them. I went into the room across the hallway from mine first. And sign on it told me it was Emily's room. I was pretty sure she wouldn't mind, Emily had been more than enthusiastic about me staying here. I opened the door softly. I tried my best to be quiet, even though I knew I was the only one in the house.

The inside of it was pretty much how I expected it to be. Cheerful, but calming. And very, very big. It was refreshing. It might've reminded someone of the waiting room of a spa, I guess. There was even a small stone pond with a running fountain in one corner, with a few red and black goldfish inside. Most of the tables were made with glass. It was very neat, everything in its place, organized. I walked around a bit and was about to leave the room when I noticed a picture hanging on the wall. It was in a plain glass frame, not ornate like some of the other things hanging on the walls. It looked tucked away, like something you didn't particularly like but just couldn't bear to remove.

I walked closer to get a better look at it. It was a portrait that looked very old. It looked familiar; it was a second before I realized what it was. It was a picture of Emily, when she was human. She looked different. Her face was still the same, a sweet face that looked like someone that modeled clothes for little children. Her hair was completely straight, though, and a lot longer. Her clothing looked a bit tattered. But the reason it took me a while to realize what it was at first was the expression on her face. It looked like a brooding child, but if you looked closely, you could see the pain and sadness in her eyes. Emily didn't strike me as the kind of person who could make an expression like that, even she was human.

Suddenly, I realized I didn't know anything about any of the Fei coven's lives. I had made this decision so fast; I hadn't realized what a big decision it was. I was surprised at how hard the realization struck me. I was going to live with people I'd just met a day ago. Was I crazy?

No, I wasn't crazy. I was _desperate. _I thought I would never see another vampire again. I think that, even if this coven did drink from humans, I doubt I would've turned down the offer to live with them if they suggested it.

But before I could beat myself up for not taking longer to make my decision, a new desire burned in me. I wanted to know. I wanted to ask the Fei coven about themselves, about why they were in Forks in the first place, why they were vampires, how they became vampires. They didn't seem like bad people. And it couldn't hurt to ask.

I heard the door slam downstairs and make a dash into my room. Emily peaked in the doorway with an oversized suitcase.

"Here's your stuff." She smiled, dropping the suitcase by my bed.

"Thanks..." I debated about how I should ask the question. I couldn't let her know I went into her room. I was pretty sure she wouldn't mind, but I couldn't be sure. "Umm, Emily. Do you think I could ask you questions about your family?"

She looked at me, confused.

"I meant, since, you know, I'm going to stay with you, I might as well get to know you better." I added, saying the words too fast they got all jumbled up.

She smiled at me. "Of course. But I'm sure some of your questions are not for me to answer. We can have a... meeting. When the rest of them get back."

I nodded. "But, can I ask you something for right now?"

"Sure."

"Who changed you?"

"Zaciel." She answered without hesitation. "Zaciel changed all of us."

I nodded thoughtfully.

"Now, they'll be back soon." She smiled again. "You can ask whatever questions you want, alright? I want you to trust us."

I nodded again. I wouldn't forget.

--- Chapter 2 END

**A.N.**: Not much of an ending. Oh well. Please feel free to ask any questions, I'll try to answer them as fully as I possibly can without ruining the story.

I tried finding pictures of the Fei coven, but I designed them in my head before and I can't find good pictures to go along with what I had in mind. I might draw them. That might be fun. (See my dA! Link in my profile.)

Review, review, review!


	5. Chapter Three

**(Bella POV)**

I was reading on the sofa, except it couldn't really be considered reading. More like, staring at a page with words on it while trying to ignore the clanging and bashing of the pots and pans in the kitchen next door.

At first my new 'family' had forgotten about my human needs. But when I mentioned innocently that I was a bit hungry, Emily took up the task of making food for me with far more enthusiasm than sanity demanded. She had gone out to buy supplies and returned home a few hours later with a trunk full of only what she had deemed 'absolutely necessary,' now the kitchen was probably better stocked then all of my previous homes combined.

"Bella!" She yelled, her voice a few octaves higher than normal. "I'm done I think! Come try it!"

I walked wearily over to the dining room. The table was set for five, even though I would obviously be the only one eating. Everyone of the Fei coven whizzed past me and sat down in a seat. This was odd, why would they want to watch me eat?

I was pondering that while I absentmindedly pulled out the chair to sit down, but my train of thought was interrupted by the site of what Emily placed in front of me.

I had asked Emily earlier what she planned to make for me, and she had said fish, which seemed innocent enough. But fish was supposed to be small. Fish was supposed to look edible. Fish _wasn't_ supposed to be the length of my arm and still have scales stuck onto it.

"I think I did something wrong." Emily said, seemingly to herself. William burst out laughing. Apparently, I had found the one thing vampires couldn't do better than anyone else. Even me.

I didn't want to disappoint my personal chef, and I cautiously took a fork full of the fish, picking a place with no scales to eat from. I stuck it into my mouth. Emily, and the rest of them, looked at me, waiting for my reaction. The fish was mushy. It tasted like oatmeal, but with an ocean-y taste that was anything but appetizing. I swallowed hard to get the thing down while plugging my nose. My natural reaction was to spit it back out and make a mad dash to the bathroom, but all I could do was smile weakly.

"She looks like she's going to be sick, Em." William snickered. "I remember human food better than all of you, and that doesn't look good. Or edible."

Emily pouted. "I guess I'll need to practice." Zaciel looked wary. Emily's face cleared and she turned back to me. "C'mon, Bella. Get in the car. I'll take you somewhere to eat out. We'll have the meeting when we come back." Then I realize why they were all gathered here, Emily had called the meeting we had talked about for tonight. I wanted to start pummeling them all with questions now, but I was still hungry, and thinking was better done on a full stomach.

I walked out into the night with Emily close behind me. We climbed into the car, a dark blue BMW convertible that belonged to Emily.

"So. Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know." I replied. "Let's go to Port Angeles. We'll pick something when we get there. She nodded, and we were off. Emily drove fast, but not as fast as the guys. I was more comfortable with her.

With her speed, we were there quickly. The sun had already set, so Emily could come out and walk with me. I was growing paranoid with all the guys that were staring at us; Emily seemed to be able to ignore them, but my self-consciousness never wavered.

"How about there?" She pointed. The sign above the restaurant said _La Bella Italia._ I felt a lump growing in my throat and I didn't trust myself to talk, so I just shook my head. Emily looked questioningly at me, but decided not to press it. We walked a little more, and decided on another Italian restaurant a little more down the street. She asked for a seat on the balcony because no one was up there, the night was a bit chilly. We sat down and I ordered, while Emily seemed fascinated by the way restaurants worked and stared at the waiter with wide eyes. The waiter's face was flushed and he squirmed around a lot, then he tripped on a table leg while walking back to the kitchens.

She was playing with the silverware while I was eating. "Hey, Bella?" She said, not taking her eyes off the napkin she was prodding with her fork. I looked up at her. "Why were you in that forest in the first place? You looked absolutely horrible when I first saw you." She turned to me now, confusion and sympathy in her golden eyes.

I suddenly realized that, while I was all mad at myself for going into stranger house, the strangers didn't know anything about the person they were inviting in, either. I debated briefly whether or not I wanted to tell her, whether or not I could handle telling her without breaking down. I decided that they should, as Emily had said to me, trust me, too. So I took a deep breath, and told her everything.

My voice cracked when I was telling her about what_ he _said to me in the forest. Emily's face was composed and unreadable through my babbling. I knew a lot of the things I said weren't making any sense, but she seemed to understand what I was trying to say.

"And then you found me, and all this happened." I concluded, waving my hands. Emily was silent for a minute. I looked at her, expectant.

"I see." She said finally. Her lips were set; she wasn't going to say anything else. I kept staring at her, unbelieving that after all I had said, that was all she was going to reply with.

"… Aren't you going to say anything?" I asked, brow furrowed.

She stared icily back. "No." Her tone was just as cold as her face. I felt suddenly uncomfortable, to say the least; the first time I've ever had in Emily's presence.

I decided to keep quiet and went back to my food. I thought about her reaction while sticking a meatball into my mouth. She seemed mad. At me? Why? Maybe she thought I was stupid, that it was completely irresponsible to be involved with vampires in the first place. Maybe she thought that I was nosy, that I shouldn't have tried to find out about vampires in the first place. I felt myself shrink in my seat.

"Are you alright?" Emily asked. Her face was same as usual now, but there was still some coldness to her features. I nodded. Suddenly, she smiled. "Sorry. Did I scare you?"

I stared at her. She laughed at me. "I'm not mad at you, don't worry."

"Oh. Uh, right" I smiled half-heartedly. "But you were mad." I added seriously.

She sighed. "I wasn't mad at you. This Edward person, what he did wasn't nice." She looked like she was about to say something else, but thought better of it. "Edward was 'he', right? The one you kept mumbling about when we found you."

"I really don't want to talk about it." I said, exasperated. She nodded understandingly. But her face was still searching mine, brooding as if she wasn't finding anything useful, brooding… like in the picture hanging on her wall.

"Why are you a vampire?"

I had blurted it out before I could stop myself. She seemed taken aback, as if surprised at my boldness. I felt my face heat up. "What do you mean?"

"Like, what happened when you were human? Why did Zaciel change you?" I asked, still embarrassed by my outburst.

She understood what I was trying to ask. "Hmmm," She said thoughtfully. "Well, this seems a good place to start as any. See, I was… unusual. When I was human."

I waited for her to continue. She paused, but then started talking faster than before. "My eyes were blue when I was human, you know." She said, looking into my eyes. "If you know anything about genetics, you'd know that black hair and blue eyes is an incredibly rare, almost impossible genetic combination. It was take generations to make a child who had the combo if you really wanted to do it. But no, Zaciel and my mother were completely normal—"

"Zaciel was you father?" I asked, incredulous. No one had bothered to tell me that, and Emily had always called him Zaciel, not dad or father.

"Oh yes!" she laughed. "He didn't tell you? Oh, dad. He's overbearingly protective, too. You should've seen the fuss he made when I announce Roran and I were going out." She shook her head, smiling at the memory.

I was still shocked, but this just made me more curious as to her past. She had said Zaciel was the one who changed her. What father would want that for his daughter? Okay, well, it does look appealing to outsiders, the immortality, the beauty. But Zaciel must've already known the downside to that type of life, if it could be called that. So why…?

"Anyways, back to me." Emily broke into my thoughts. "Yes, my parents were normal. At first, they didn't think much of my eyes. Lots of babies are born with blue eyes, they go through a transition into the color they're supposed to be. But after a few years, it was obvious my eyes were going to stay blue. It didn't really matter, of course, and my mother rather liked the attention I got." She said this about her mother with a hint of bitterness in her voice. Did she not like her mother?

"But then, I started getting sick. Really sick. I had to be hospitalized. I heard the doctors complaining about my DNA being messed up, which also damaged the cells in my body. My mother had been taking all kinds of illegal dugs during her pregnancy. In the village where she grew up, girls were taught that they weren't as good as boys, because they couldn't help in the fields or go to school. When she learned the baby in her stomach was a girl, she didn't want me. Her family was much too poor for an abortion, so she tried taking drugs." I listened in horror. What kind of mother would do that? What did it matter what _gender_ her child was?

"So, because of my mother's prejudices, I was sick for the rest of my human life." Her voice was flat.

"Zaciel 'changed' when I was about 7 years old. He worked at a construction site. Working conditions in China in those days were horrible.

"He fell. From the eighth story of a building while fixing the frame. Landed on steel rods and fell unconscious. No one even noticed because of the shear number of workers. Next thing he knew, he woke up as a vampire. We don't know who changed him. He did mention that there was an extremely beautiful lady who watched him work at the site," she smiled. "He was ashamed at first when he realized what he had become. He couldn't control himself, and he didn't want to be with me or my mother in case he lost control. He hid from us. My mother didn't mind, how had left her enough money. I didn't mind, either. My parents weren't exactly loving, it was an arranged marriage. After 10 years, he met me on the streets by chance. The disease had been on and off for a while. It was quite easy to recognize me, my eyes. He had enough self control by then to stay with me. Obviously, he couldn't tell me about what he was, he thought up the strangest excused for why he hadn't changed at all in 10 years.. But he apologized for being an inadequate father, and I forgave him. We built a bond after that, he later told me that was when he decided to hunt animals instead of humans. I guess you can see why he's so protective now." She laughed again.

"But then the illness came back, this time with a vengeance. The doctors said I'd only have a little while left. Zaciel panicked and helped me in the only way he could. He bit me."

She leaned back in her chair and folded her hands in her lap. Then she smiled at me.

"And that's my story."

We were on the drive home. I was still thinking about Emily's story. It's hard to believe that someone like Emily could have such a dark past. I sighed, thinking about how I was always full of self-pity and wallowing in my own sadness, when there were far more tragic people trying to comfort me.

I thought back to my first night with the Fei coven. There was almost so much to people than meets the eye. Our conversation had been cut short then. Emily was saying something about William…

"Hey, Emily?"

"Mhm?"

'You know when we were talking the first time, you were saying something about William? Before I revealed my all knowing nature?"

She laughed. "Oh, yes. I remember. My scatterbrained self blurting that out without thinking at all about the present company." She smiled. "What I was trying to say is, Will is still a newborn. That's why his eyes are still red, and why he couldn't stop himself from jumping at you in the forest. He hadn't quite grasped our lifestyle yet, and he's struggling. He's only about a year old, so please don't hold that against him. All things considered, he's doing extremely well." She frowned, though I'm not sure why. She seemed confused about something.

We spent the rest of the drive in silence. When we got to the house and she pulled into the driveway, she showed me to my room and kissed me on the cheek.

"Good night."

"You too." She laughed and I realized she wouldn't be able to sleep. "Yes, I will. I'm going hunting with Roran and Zaciel. So William will be keeping an eye on you. Alright?"

I felt a bit squirmy about being alone in the house with William. I convinced myself it was because of his lack of control.

I changed into my pajamas and was just about to get into bed when I heard a knock on my door. I walked over and opened it, and William stood outside the frame.

--- Chapter 3 END

**A.N.: **Aaaand we learn about Emily. Ick, I still haven't thought of anything good for William and Roran. Roran is Emily's mate, by the way. Help me? D:

You might think the sexist opinions of Emily's mother were something of the past, but it's not. My own grandparents are like that. My brother gets all the attention. They come over and give him a bag of candy, and I'm just sitting there going, 'what am I? Moldy socks?'

Should I make Bella more miserable? xD;

Anyway. Review! I won't have enough enthusiasm to write anymore if I don't get reviews. SO REVIEW. KTHANKS.


	6. Mostly an Authors Note

**A.N.: **Hello again. : ) Thanks for all the reviews.

InkblotTheDarking; I know there are a lot of unfortunate people. If you still keep in contact with any of the people you mentioned, tell them I wish them the best.

SilverDrip; xD Those are very random ideas. The William in love with Victoria thing is a great idea, but I really hate Victoria with a passion and I wouldn't do that to Willy. I will use your little sister idea though, but with some alterations. I have William's story finished now, and he's the one with the little sister. Some of it will be in this chapter. It's sadder than Emily's. I feel bad now. : (

Keeness; that was originally my plan, but I don't want to write too much drama between Eddie and William, so I decided not to. He will have a very good relationship with Bella though.

All Reviewers; Thanks so much. Please feel free to ask questions. As to making Bella sadder, I'll try to if I can find places in the story for it. There's a lot going on in the beginning, and it wouldn't quite work out if Bella was moping around all the time.

Thanks for all the cookies!

---

He was staring down at me with his eerie burgundy eyes. I stiffened.

He smiled. "Don't worry, I just want to talk."

He walked me over to my bed and sat down in an armchair. "I'd like to apologize," he started seriously. I looked at him, confused. What did he have to apologize for? "I was being rude when you first came," He continued in a somber tone. "I didn't like you at first."

"Oh. That's alright, I don't mind..." I trailed off, and then I noticed he was staring at me with one eyebrow raised. I realized how bad that sounded. "No! I meant, not that I don't mind you not liking me…" I scrambled for words.

He chucked at me, and I turned to look at him again. I felt the blush on my face. "It's alright, I know what you meant. What _I_ meant was, I judged you harshly when you first came. I can see now that that judgment was wrong; you're really quite knowledgeable." He smiled at me. "For a human."

I pouted playfully. It was easy to be myself around William. He laughed again. "You know, you remind me a lot of my sister."

His face changed. The ghost of the laugh still remained, but now his face was filled with agony.

"You're not going to tell me about her, are you?" I assumed. He smiled half-heartedly.

"Her name was Lydia." I could tell he didn't like to talk about it, so I didn't pry. I just stared at him, doing my best to hide my curiosity. He was looking away, but he seemed like he was off in another world.

"Emily told me something." I said warily, hoping his reaction won't be too bad. He just turned to me, eyes unreadable. "She said that you were only a year old. As a vampire, I mean." He nodded his face still blank. I looked down and fidgeted in my lap. "I was wondering… how you became a vampire." I looked up again to see his reaction.

He sighed and looked away again. "Roran and I became friends at a high school over a year ago, and he introduced me to Emily. A while later, he found me in a building, close to death. Emily convinced Zaciel to save me." His jaw set.

I frowned at the vagueness of his answer, but didn't ask anymore. It was obvious that he was uncomfortable talking about it, and I didn't want to make him feel annoyed so soon after we 'made up.'

Suddenly, he stood up and smiled down at me once more. "It's late. I'm keeping you from your sleep. It's so strange to have someone who sleeps in the house." And with that, he walked to the door and shut it quietly behind him. That left me staring after him, thoroughly confused.

---

**A.N.:** Yea. So, what I made this chapter for was to tell you that my mom has, sadly, shortened my time on the computer. She says she's only going to give me an hour a day on weekends, but that's it. Chances are I'll be able to sneak some time, but not much more. So I might only be able to update once a week. : ( But, I'll still be writing the story in my notebook, so I'll try to make the updates as long as I can.

Oh, and, William's transformation is bases on his sister. : ) Watch out for Lydia. I named her Lydia because a friend of mine, Amber, used to like that name a lot. I'm not sure if she still does. But anyhow.


	7. Chapter Four

**A.N**.: Sorry the updates take so long. I just _had _to update today. It's Bella's birthday. C'mon. I wore a tag to school that said 'Happy Birthday, Bella' today and everyone kept asking me who Bella was. It's sad that so many people haven't read Twilight.

Anyways, moving on.

---

That night, I had a dream. In my dream, I was chasing a little girl. I didn't know why I was chasing her, but something seemed to will me to grab hold of her. She looked like she was about 9 years old. She was so pretty; I would've sworn she was a vampire if it were not for her sky blue eyes. Her waist length, curly golden hair seemed like a radiant halo, her pale face and delicate features looked so... _breakable_. But she simply smiled at me sweetly, watching me, never seeming to move. And yet, the more I chased her, the farther away she seemed. Why? I called after her, only to realize I did not know her name. She yelled at me something, but I could not hear. What did you say?

But then she was gone, and I was left staring after her.

---

The next morning, I woke up to the bright light coming filtering in from the window. I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep again, so I grudgingly pulled my self from bed and trudged downstairs, still groggy.

I thought about the dream as I made my way downstairs, to the living room. Who was that little girl? I had never seen her before, I was sure of that. And yet, she seemed familiar.

"Oh, Bella." William smiled at me, breaking me out of my reverie. He was reading on the couch; I wondered vaguely what kinds of books he read. "Good morning."

I smiled back at him, and went in the kitchen to fix myself some breakfast. Milk and cereal in hand, I sat down and jumped a little when I realized William had sat down in front of me, staring intently into my face. Was I ever going to get used to vampires and their silent agility?

He laughed at my response, and then looked into my bowl. "Is that any good?"

The feeling of dejavu was staggering.

"Yea, I guess." I muttered, shaking my head in a futile attempt to clear away the memories.

He merely looked at my face once more, brow slightly furrowed. "Is something wrong?" I asked hesitantly. He smiled again, and another feeling—recognition? – coursed through me again. But what did I recognize?

"Bella." He said, no longer smiling. "There's something I wish I could tell you, but I'm not sure if I should… If I could."

Did he not trust me? "Why?" I asked. "Because you think I'm not—"

But he was shaking his head. "It's nothing about you, Bella." He looked uneasy. I reached forward to put my hand on his. He seemed surprised for a minute, but then sighed and looked at me once more."

"Bella, I love you."

I stared at him, unthinking. What? His words did not make sense. I sat there stupidly for a minute. ...What? was the only thing my mind registered.

But he laughed at me. "No, no, Bella., Not like that." He looked amused. I was still in shock, but something told me he planned to say it confusingly like that, just to gauge my reaction.

Then he was abruptly serious. "Don't be offended when I tell you this." I was now even more confused; something I didn't think was possible.

I waited.

"Lydia. I mentioned her last night." He looked at me. His face was smiling, but his eyes showed the turmoil inside. I guess my brain was functioning again.

_Lydia. _Another round of the same recognition feeling.

"…Why do I remind you of… Lydia?" I asked. "Do I… look like her?"

"No, that's not it. It's more that… you're the same _person_, just in a different body."

He laughed again at my expression.

"It's alright. You don't need to understand." He chuckled. "Just understand if I seem… fond of you."

The phone rang in the other room, and William went to pick up. I was left poking at my now soggy cereal, thinking about what he had just said.

I expected myself to feel… flattered, maybe, or chagrin. But instead, the only emotion I could recognize from inside my whirling brain was curiosity. Mixed with a hint of sadness, not for me, but for William.

But I felt even more curious than before after William's past. It all seemed so… mysterious. And intriguing. And this Lydia. William seemed to struggle so much whenever she came up. Why…?

William came back into the room. "Emily and the rest of them will be back in a few minutes."

---

"Bella!" Emily called from downstairs.

"Hey!" I grinned. She pulled me into a hug.

"So. Did you and Will have a good time?"

I didn't know what to say, so I just shrugged. She laughed. "It's alright. William will warm up to you. He's actually very sweet." I smiled.

She pranced down the hall. Yes, pranced. She seemed to be in a good mood, even better than usual. I wonder why…?

I went back upstairs into my room. I heard Emily calling William. Suddenly, there was a huge squeal. I ran down, trying to find out what had happened. Emily was practically beaming.

"What happened?" I asked, puzzled. Emily smiled even bigger and started to jump up and down.

"I knew it!" She giggled. "I thought it was my imagination at first, but… Oh! Finally!"

Will was staring at her, seemingly entranced by something. "What is it?"

"Oh." Emily stopped, but her face was still beaming. She pointed to William's face. "Your eyes are changing!"

I looked closer. William's eyes did seem a bit more orange than red now.

"The human blood is finally fading away!" Emily started jumping again. "It started a bit later than I would've expected, but better late than never."

But now, Emily didn't seem like the happiest person in the room anymore. William's eyes were sparkling, and he was smiling like mad. I found myself glad also, although I didn't quite understand.

Emily skipped out of the room, to tell Roran and Zaciel I guessed. William looked at me, smiling so hard his face _must_ be hurting.

"Bella. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure." I said, curiosity overcoming me again.

He held out his hand. I put mine in his freezing one. I was blushing furiously, he chuckled. He led me to the deck. I took a minute to look at all the flowers someone, Emily I supposed, had planted around the garden. It looked beautiful.

Then I realized William was waiting for me in the patio table. I blushed again, nearly tripping as I hurried to join him.

I noticed his expression, it looked like he was willing himself to do something. I would've laughed if it were not so serious.

"You asked me about my human life before," he started after a short pause. My eyes widened with understanding. "I think it's about time I told you."

I waited in suspense. "Hmm…" He mused. "Where to start…

"Alright. This seems as good a place as any other. Most of the vampires you've met so far are probably quite old, yes?" He asked me. I nodded.

"My world was quite recent. Lydia and I were alone. Our parents had died when Lydia was 3 years old. I was 9. We were admitted into an orphanage in France. A few years later, we were adopted. It would've taken much shorter than that, but all the families before then wanted either me or Lydia. And I wasn't about to abandon her.

"Lydia was my life. If it wasn't for her, I would've given up a long time ago. But she was more traumatized than anyone. Growing up without parents… it wasn't good for her. She held onto the memories of our parents; she didn't have many, she was too young.

"We were brought to our new home. It was fantastic, and our new 'parents' were wonderful people. It seemed like maybe our lives would get better.

"I was enrolled in high school. Lydia, however, still wasn't comfortable enough with people. She barely spoke to anyone but me. I taught her things, and our new parents tried to get her to interact with other kids. After a while, she started opening up. It looked like she would be able to go to school, and have a normal life I would've loved for her to have…

"But…" He looked away. His eyes grew more and more agonized during his story. "Then Lydia was diagnosed with cancer." I gasped.

"Yes. I was depressed. I stopped going to school. Our parents wanted to put her in a hospital, but after a series of tantrums thrown by me, they decided to get a doctor who made house calls. I stayed by he side as much as I could.

"Things started to look up for her. My parents convinced me to go back to school. It was around then that Roran and Emily transferred to our school.

"Normally, vampires try to stay away from humans. I probably would've never spoken to Roran if it was not for a science project on which we were made partners. The project was on blood cells, ironically enough. He introduced me to Emily, and she was enthusiastic enough.

"We became friends… well, as friendly a vampire could get to a human." I tried to hide the pang of hurt that pierced through me. I think William noticed, but he didn't say anything and continued without a pause. "Then, Lydia's condition went downhill. Staying home wasn't an option anymore. Our family didn't have enough money to get her the treatment she needed…" He broke off.

"I did the only thing I could think of." His tone was filled with self-disgust. "There was a gang in a neighboring city. I heard from some town gossipers talking about them giving giant loans of money. I thought maybe I could get the money for Lydia's treatment from them… I would pay them off somehow." 

"The treatment worked at first. But the illness was stubborn." He laughed bitterly. "I went back to those people, asking for more money. I remember begging." I tried to picture William groveling on his knees. I couldn't. "I'm pretty sure you have an idea of what happened next."

"They left me on the floor of an abandoned warehouse near town. Somehow, Roran found me. He took me back to the house they lived in then. They didn't know whether I would rather die or… to save me. Emily convinced them that, with my sister, I would want them to change me. So Zaciel did."

He stopped talking. I sat there, thinking, for an immeasurable amount of time. But… whatever happened to Lydia after that? For some reason, I felt like the story wasn't finished. But I also knew he probably wouldn't want to tell me about it, so I asked something else instead.

"So… after you were changed, you decided to become a 'vegetarian' vampire? Just like that?"

"At first it was difficult, but I felt indebted to Emily and her family." He said slowly, thoughtfully.

I smiled at him. "I'm glad you made the choice."

He looked at me, a pained expression on his face. Did I say something wrong? He quickly composed.

"Are you alright?"

"… Fine." Liar.

"You can tell me."

He sighed and turned away. The internal battle was back, fiercer than ever. Finally, he spoke. "I told you Emily was the one that convinced Zaciel to change me. After I told her I wanted to join her lifestyle, she was delighted." He chuckled. "She thought it was her responsibility to… teach me. Get me more used to this way of existing. Emily trained me, kept me from temptation. I was quite rebellious at first; all I could think about was my thirst, my bloodlust. I'm only beginning to realize how hard it was for her.

"Emily thinks I've never slipped. She's a bit proud of that. She once told me she had tasted human blood more than a few times in her past, and teaching me was like getting a clean slate.

"But she's wrong," he turned to me, but he was still looking down. I looked at him questioningly. "I failed my family once."

I still did not quite understand.

"I drank from a human." My eyes widened.

"Yes. And you won't believe… my arrogance. I will never forgive myself." His voice broke. What was this that was torturing him so much? Why did it eat away at him? I wanted to comfort him, but I wasn't sure how. Instead, I waited for him to continue.

William took a shuddering breath. "You know, I've never told anyone about this. Ever." He smiled sadly at me. I wanted to cry.

He sighed and went on with his story. "After the transformation, Emily and the rest of them had to explain everything about being a vampire. I listened intently at first. They told me about the immortality, the speed… it seemed like the best thing in the world. I remember thinking that if I had known that this was possible before, I would've begged them to change me.

"But when they told me that we were ale to change other people… I didn't hear a word after that. All I could think about was Lydia.

"Yes… that was my plan. I wanted to save her. I had heard all their warnings about the temptation of human blood, why newborns were so hard to make… but I wasn't thinking. Why didn't I think? Why didn't I realize that even Emily, who had been a vampire for much longer than I, wouldn't even be able to change me and had to convince Zaciel to do it?

"Well. I told you, I was far too arrogant. I thought I could do it. I'm sure there must've been a voice in the back corners of my mind, telling me that I should ask someone to do it for me because I wouldn't be able to. But I buried that voice away.

"While Roran and Zaciel were out hunting one night, I told Emily that I wanted to go out for a bit. She probably thought it was precarious, but she agreed.

"I went to Lydia's room at the hospital. Her whole face lit up when she saw me. It had been a while since I have visited.

"But then she noticed the changes. She asked me why I was different. That was when I noticed her scent…

"It was… mouthwatering. I hadn't smelled many humans since the transformation. I tried my best to restrain myself. I told her what I had become. She seemed appalled at first, but she wanted me to change her, too. I was delighted. I had Lydia, and I was so close to having her for the rest of eternity, never having to worry about her illness coming back."

His face was pale. His breath was jagged, the bad part was here. He took a few breaths to calm himself. When he started again, his voice was shaky. "When I tasted her blood… it was luscious. I couldn't… stop." He was shaking. I stared at him, sure that he would be sobbing if he could. I worked on instinct. I got up, and put my arms around him. He stiffened under my touch for a minute, but then he put his arms around me as well. When I away, he was smiling at me warily.

"Sorry I broke down like that." He apologized. I shook my head. "Emily was a bit worried about my eyes after the one year mark. Normally they would've at least been orange by then, if I never drank from a human like I should've. That's why she was so happy earlier.

"Please don't tell Emily about this…" He looked at me, worried.

"I won't." I replied, somewhat hesitantly. "But… she has to know. Sometime."

"Yes." He sounded grave. "It's just… I don't want to disappoint her. Emily, she's so kind…"

Something clicked.

"William…" I started, he looked at me expectantly. "You love her, don't you?"

He stared at me, shocked.

---

A.N.: Ugh. Okay. That was a bit longer than I wanted it to be. Sorry if I dragged it out a bit long.

I have Roran's story finished, too. : )

Any questions, please feel free to ask!

Review, please please please. I'll write more if you review. xD


	8. Chapter Five

**A.N.:** Wow. xD; I read a lot of fanfics in the past few days, and the name William is apparently really common for Twilight OCs. Please excuse my adding one more William.

Sorry for not updating in so long. I sort of needed a break. :)

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Suddenly, his gaze turned scornful.

"Of course not." He practically sneered.

I stared, wide-eyed and confused at him for a while. His expression didn't change. He seemed to get tired of our staring blankly at each other, so he sighed and walked back into the house. He didn't look back.

---

I was lying in my bed, staring transfixed at the ceiling. William's reaction had confused me even more, if that's even possible. A part of me wanted to take the words back, what proof did I have that he had any feelings whatsoever for Emily, when it wasn't even my business in the first place?

I turned on to my side and sighed. But… what confused me the most was, for a few seconds after the words had left my mouth, the truth was so _obvious_ on his face. The pure distress alone seemed like it was desperately trying to convey to me something, something he couldn't say aloud. So, which was it? Do you or don't you?

Then there was that burning desire to march across the hallway, into William's room and demand him to tell me what the heck is going through his mind, and force him to apologize for making me think any more than necessary.

Besides, I had plenty enough to think about.

But I quickly cleared away those thoughts from my head. No, this is the start of my _new_ life. Sure, it might only bring a sad mockery of the happiness I had in my previous life, but it would be enough. I mean, my life is short. What's another seventy or eighty years?

_No, Bella. _I thought sternly to myself. _Don't think that way. Just forget about the past, and look into the future. It might not be the ones you want, but it's not as if everything that you valued is gone forever._

But the pessimistic side is always so much more demanding. _What are you talking about? Of course it's all gone. What do you have now? Friends? Oh sure, if you're insane enough to call these vampires your 'friends.' Your parents are gone, the family you want is gone, and _he _is gone. Bella, what _do_ you have left?_

I groaned at the battle waging inside my head. I needed to clear my mind.

With that thought, I sat up and decided to go take a walk outside. Nothing long, just a quick stroll. What did it matter?

_And even if something did happen? Who would care?_

I tried my best to knock those thoughts out of my mind. With all the lost things in my life already, the last thing I wanted was for me to lose my mind, too.

---

The cool evening wind was blowing gently on my face. I didn't tell anyone I was leaving, I'll only be a minute and they needn't worry.

I found a steel bench on the side of a forest trail. Normally I wouldn't have allowed myself to wander into the woods alone, especially after dark, but I needed a change— any change, and the trees seemed to usher me in. I was happy to comply.

Sitting down on the bench, I pulled out a book I had brought with me. I had just grabbed it from the shelf, another rash decision, without looking at what it was. Borrowing the light from a nearby old-fashioned street lamp, I stared down at the title. I groaned again.

_Romeo and Juliet. _What a nice reminder.

I wasn't about to subject myself to that kind of torture, so I got up and started down the trail, back towards the house. I stayed for a bit shorter than I wanted, but the walk had served its purpose. I felt relatively calm now.

Then, a rustle in the leaves told me I might not be as alone as I thought I was. I stopped abruptly and wearily looked around. Nothing. Maybe it was an animal, a squirrel or something. Nothing to be worried about, I convinced myself.

Two more steps, the leaves shook again. It was too deliberate to be a wild animal; I broke into a power-walk, eyes darting around frantically.

I let out a shriek as something jumped out from the bushes lining the path. It looked like a dog, but massive. I stared horrified at it, unable to look away, and it stared menacingly back. In its eyes, there was a burst of recognition—or that's what it looked like, who knows if an animal could even feel recognition?—and it darted back into the darkness.

I ran back into the house, hyperventilating.

"Bella!"

I jumped, and Emily froze. Her eyes were worried.

"Bella?" She repeated slowly, not moving, probably thinking she had scared me. I met her gaze, my eyes probably as alarmed as I felt.

"I'm fine." I managed to choke out. Her expression turned skeptical.

"Of course you are." She walked towards me as if nothing has happened, but her steps were unconsciously cautious.

She held out a hand to help me up; I hadn't realized I'd sunk into the ground. I stared at her outstretched hand. This scene was exactly like when we'd first met.

Emily seemed to realize this as well, and she giggled. I put my hand in hers, and a strange comforting feeling came over me at her marble-like grasp. She pulled me back onto my feet. When I saw her face, you was watching my expression very carefully.

"Do you want something to drink?" She offered. I realized my throat felt dry, and I nodded. She led me into the kitchen and sat me down while she reached inside the fridge. She emerged with a carton of milk, which she started to pour into a glass in front of me.

I obediently gulped down the glass. When I faced Emily again, her expression surprised me. She looked at me disapprovingly, almost angry. I smiled sheepishly back.

"Bella," she sighed. "What possessed you to just walk out without saying anything? I went up to check on you, and you weren't there. Do you _know_ how worried I was?"

"But, Emily," I was confused. "It was just a walk. It's not like I was running away or anything." I said flippantly.

She glowered at me. I shrunk in my seat. "How well do you know this area, Bella?"

"Not well at all." I admitted hesitantly. I wasn't familiar with the outskirts of the reservation… it did seem a bit stupid to go off on my own now. But I stayed on the trail, so what was the worst that could happen? I was a bit surprised with Emily, too. She never struck me as the type of person who would take something so little this seriously.

Emily sighed. "Look, I don't need to scare you with the details," she leaned forward and looked me sternly in the eye. "But you must _swear_ to never go out into the forest on your own again, alright?"

I nodded slowly, confused yet again. It seemed like I was getting more befuddled by the minute.

Emily's face brightened with each bob of my head. When I stopped, she seemed content.

She stood up from the table, and I followed suit.

"Well then, go to sleep now. You need your rest." She started to walk to the stairs as I put the glass in the sink.

She paused right outside the doorframe, and turned back to me. "By the way, Bella?" She grinned. "Take a shower, would you?"

---

**A.N.: **Sorry it's short, I need to go. xD I promise to update soon.

Buuut. If you review, I might be able to later todaaaay… : )


	9. Chapter Six

**A.N.: **Ha-ha. Don't worry, Eddie will come back into the picture soon. I need the Change Bella first, though. ;) I'm actually getting quite impatient, as well.

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I stepped out of the shower, shivering. Why I needed a shower in the first place was still a mystery, but I felt it better to just go along with whatever Emily says. I wrung out my still-damp hair, got dressed, and made my way back to my room.

The room didn't feel right. The walls were too white, the bed too big. Somehow, I didn't belong in this room. I found my self missing the tiny bedroom facing the yard, with the periwinkle walls, the old, pine dresser.

And the window, as well as the one who so often came through it.

I pursed my lips and took several deep breaths to clear my mind. Getting a book to read (and making sure it's nothing that will bring me more unnecessary thoughts), I plopped down on the springy bed.

Diving into _Animal Farm_, the book we were studying in school before I so rudely 'died', it was a while before I realized someone—or something— knocking on my window.

---

Whoever it was knocked again, three firm raps on the glass. I hadn't the faintest clue who in the world it could be. After all, most of the world had thought me dead.

Then, I felt a thrill of anticipation… and fear. Could be…?

_No. He said he wasn't coming back, and you know he's true to his word. _My sub conscience remarked sarcastically. _And don't get yourself hopeful, either. It'll just make it worse._

But I still had no clue who it was.

I pondered whether or not I should get Emily or someone else, but I decided against that. It's absurdly stupid, it's true, but I still had my pride, if nothing else. If it turned out to be nothing, I would've got them all worked up.

So I stepped cautiously towards the curtains. Pausing for the space of a heartbeat, I tore the curtains away in one swift jerk.

---

**A.N**.: It's short again. Dx I'm gonna get mobbed one of these days.

I'll be sure to make the next one extra long (and pivotal:O ) to make up for it.


	10. Chapter Seven

**A.N.**: Sorry this took so long. I have a lot going on right now…? There's the auction on gaia, some art trades, student council stuff, PALs, school… but you don't need to know about all that, haha. By the way, yes, Jacob has short hair since he only grew it out because he thought Bella liked it better that way. And in this story, obviously, there's no Bella.

---

Someone was outside, in the darkness. He—it looked like a he; I could be wrong.—was struggling to keep steady on an outstretched branch on the old oak tree outside my window. He looked familiar.

Even in a twisted expression of concentration, I could see the slight boyish-ness of his face. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and his russet colored skin glowed. His inky hair was cropped.

And then, he realized that I'd opened the curtains, and probably the bewildered expression on my face which he was currently mirroring. I realized who he was in those few minutes of blank silence.

Jacob?

That boy I'd met on First Beach? The laPush boy who told me about… the cold ones? What was he doing here? Did he know I'm alive? How did he know where I was? What…

My mind was moving faster than I would've thought possible. My brain barely registered his mouth moving. I guess he wanted to talk; what about was the mystery. I stumbled in my haste to open the window, but my hand froze on the latch.

Should you talk to him? Should you tell him to go away? Pretend you don't know him? Pretend you're someone else that looks remarkably like his childhood friend?

What if he tells everyone you're alive, now that he sees you? What if he already has? Could there be a whole group of people waiting down there? For _you_?

My brain was definitely working overtime.

You could ask him. You could tell him to be quiet. You could even ask the friendly vampires to— Bella, no. At the very least, you could find out how he knew you were here.

I yelled internally for my brain the shut the hell up.

I decided to act on instinct, so I opened the window.

No sooner had I opened the smallest crack did my door burst open.

Roran stormed in, his face no longer in the neutral mask it usually was; he was fuming.

I was staring at Roran, but then I heard an impatient sigh from outside. Jacob pulled the window back the rest of the way, and stepped in gracefully.

"I thought I smelled a dog. Get out." Roran said menacingly, in a low but firm voice. I noticed Emily and William had come also, wearing similar expressions. I remembered Emily telling me Zaciel had some business to take care of, and wasn't home today.

Jacob exhaled sharply with a defiant expression. "Gladly," he retorted, with pretend nonchalance. Then he suddenly grabbed my elbow. "I'll be taking her with me. I know the way out." He made a show of propping me over the ledge on of the window.

"W-wait!" I said, finally finding my voice. I turned to see Roran put an ice-cold hand on Jacob's shoulder; he looked slightly revolted at the physical gesture. "Let's talk first," he said.

"I don't believe there's anything to talk about." Jacob leered towards Roran, innocent façade gone.

They stared each other down. I jumped when Emily touched me lightly on my arm. I looked over at her, she was—I was surprised to see— smirking nervously. I realized I was still sitting on the window frame. I rushed to get off.

After a bit more arguing, Jacob— gracelessly, I might add—finally agreed to sit down and discuss whatever this was about. Roran led us to the living room. He seemed to be in charge now; I guess he's second in command when Zaciel isn't here.

"Tea?" Roran offered offhandedly once everyone was seated.

Jacob ignored the cup. "I'm taking her. Now." He glowered. He meant me, I guess.

Putting all the pleasantries aside, Roran replied in a similar tone. "What are you going to do with her, once you leave?"

"Return her to her father, to Forks, where she belongs!" Jacob said heatedly.

"And how are you going to explain why she's been gone for weeks when a body's already been found— the funeral already over?" Roran snarled. "Without having to reveal what we are... what _you_ are?!"

What _he_ was…? What_ Jacob_ was? What's that supposed to mean? Wait… Jacob _knew? _He knows about vampires? Well, of course he knew, from the stories, but why does he believe them now?

Jacob seemed momentarily stumped, his face looked taken aback. But he quickly regained his angry expression. "We'll figure it out." He said in a low tone, somewhat pathetically.

"I'm sure you will." Roran sneered, his voice heavily sarcastic. "We're not handing her over." Emily tightened her hold on my hand.

I was starting to get tired of being talked about like some object, like I belonged to someone. I was about to voice my feelings when Jacob broke the silence.

"Doesn't Bella get a say in this?" I mentally thanked him... a little. He turned to me. "Bella, Charlie's been miserable. He thinks it's his entire fault, that he wasn't good enough as a father."

Oh no. He's trying to make me feel guilty, and it's working. Charlie… it's not his fault, not his fault at all. It's all mine. _Charlie…_

Jacob continued. "Billy's been going over there almost every night to check on him. I've seen his state… not good at all." He shook his head.

"And Renee… How can you just abandon Renee? She was hysteric at the funeral; she still doesn't believe you're dead. And everyone in town, they've—"

"Stop!" I burst out before I could stop it. I didn't want to hear anymore, I've made my decision, and I was going to stick with it. That's how I am… once I make a decision, I'm determined to see it through. But Jacob was starting to get to me. _How_ could I have just left, without contemplating how it will affect my friends and family? Was it because, at that moment, everything just paled in comparison to _him_, and no one else mattered at that point?

"Jacob," I said slowly, my voice shaking slightly. "I had a good reason for leaving; I don't expect you to understand, but please, please…"

"You had a reason? Let's hear it then."

Let's hear it? Was it worth it to tell him? He would just hate me even more…

"I… don't want to tell you…"

Jacob instantly fired up. "It is about that bunch of bloodsuckers? Is that why? That one you used to hang out with, what was his name?

"…Edward?"

The name sent shivers down my spine. My hands instinctively moved to my chest, my breaths started coming in gasps.

Jacob looked at my posture with a strange expression. Was it contempt? Pity?

"Leave. Now." Emily said menacingly, talking for the first time that night. I remembered that I had told Emily, and her alone, about why I had left I the first place. She probably knew why I was behaving the way I was.

"Not until I can get her with me." Jacob shot back, standing up.

"No… Jacob…" I was practically begging. He looked at me with the same expression as before, and then he sighed.

Turning towards the front door, he spoke. "I'll be coming back for you. Count on it."

"No, wait!" I yelled after him. He turned to face me. "You aren't… you aren't going to tell anyone I'm still alive… are you?"

He paused uncomfortably. "I can't help them knowing, being what I am…"

"What you _are_?!" I lost it. I couldn't stand being in the dark all the time; it's about time I got some answers. "What _are_ you? I think I ought to know what this is all about!"

He sighed heavily. "Well… you asked for it.

"Bella, I'm…" He bit his lip nervously. "Er… I'm a…."

"What the dog's chocking on is," William said from behind me. I whirled around to him, aware of Jacob growling in the background. "He's a werewolf."

Eh?

A… werewolf?

And… I'll be waking up now, right?

This can't be right.

This entire thing with Jacob is a dream.

In fact, my entire life after I moved to Forks might be a dream.

And sooner or later, I'm going to wake up to the shrill, demanding sound of the alarm clock, find myself lying in bed, in Charlie's house, and start to get ready for a school day filled with non-vampires and non-werewolves, plain old human classmates.

Yup.

So…. Should I pinch myself or something?

"Bella?" Jacob looked at me, with unmistakable concern on his face.

I looked at him. There was no way that this boy, no matter how huge and muscled he is, is a werewolf. There's just no freaking way.

I made a small, pathetic sound, just to confirm I heard what he said.

"A… werewolf?" I croaked.

He half-grinned. I just stared at him, not entirely sure what the expression on my face looks like.

He ignored my blank stare. "Now that that's out of the way," he remarked, as though a huge weight has been lifted off his chest. "Werewolves can hear each other's thoughts, so, I can't really help having my werewolf friends knowing you're alive." He shrugged innocently.

"Bu-but," I stuttered, then realization hit. Were_wolves. _There were more? "Th-then, don't think about it!" I blurted out.

He, unbelievably, smirked. "Can't really do that, m'afraid," his expression turned serious. "I can try… but I'll probably slip." The way he said it, and that damn smirk on his face, gave me the impression that he wasn't going to try at all.

"Jacob…" I tried the begging again.

He raised his hands, in an I-surrender pose. "Hey, I will try, but I can't guarantee that you won't find a pack of angry wolves showing up at your doorsteps one of these days."

And he was out the door before I could say another word.

I froze for a minute, then looked desperately at each of my new "family's" faces, as though they could do something about.

I stopped at Emily face. Her expression confused me. Roran and William both looked angry, but Emily looked as if… she was contemplating something. Mulling it over. She looked almost… scared at the prospect.

Then she turned to Roran, and their eyes met. Roran seemed to be uncertain for a minute, but then he nodded, and some sort of silent communication passed through them.

Without a word, Emily ran back outside and chased after Jacob.

I was still staring after her with Roran cleared his throat loudly. I turned to him, and he was pointing towards the stairs. "Pack. Now." He said with finality.

"Wait!" I called after him when he made to leave the room. "Where did Emily go…?"

He looked at me oddly for a second. I noticed, even though he wasn't older than 25 and was exceptionally beautiful, how old, _weathered_ he sometimes looked. Completely different from Emily, who was so youthful, even though Emily had told me that Roran was her mate.

"Emily went to erase that boy's memory." Silence.

"Erase… his memory?" I repeated stupidly.

"Yes, that's her power." He clarified. "Only his memory of this night, however. But we're leaving, it's not safe to be so close to Forks and these werewolves."

And he walked back into the living room with William, heaving me standing in the deserted corridor.

---

I sighed as I took in the forests again. Would this really be my last time seeing them?

I dragged my luggage downstairs. It wasn't incredibly heavy; most of my stuff was gone, but Emily had bought me a lot of extra (and completely unnecessary) clothes, so it was still pretty heavy… for me, the human, at least. William found my struggling on the stairs, and took the duffle bag out of my hands without a word, and flung it over his shoulders as if it weighed nothing at all. Which it probably did, to him at least.

William has been acting distant ever since our last personal conversation. I still regretted making that one thoughtless remark.

The entire "family" (I still wasn't entirely comfortable with calling them my real family, you know, without the quotation marks.) had been bustling around all morning, deciding which things to pack and what needs to be airlifted and whatnot, and since I had pretty much no clue about most of what they were talking about (all I could make out was that we were moving to someplace really up north, they evidently had a house there that they'd been living in for a few years until around 20 years ago.), I mostly just sat aside and thought about things. It wasn't doing me much good, thinking, since I really had nothing to think about that didn't threaten to tear me apart.

Apparently, Emily had caught up with Jacob in time and he had no recollection of his visit at all. While rummaging through his head, though, she had also found that Jacob saw me in the forest the other day and that was why he decided to come to the house, so she deleted that particular memory, also. I overheard her saying that she saw some other things also, but was adamant on not telling me anything. They told Zaciel the entire action-packed story when he got back, and he tried to consol me that it was not my fault that they had to move, which only made me feel, if possible, worse. Roran and William both weren't really interested in speaking to me. The house was, honestly, getting quite stifling.

I made up my mind to take another walk outside but, deciding it was pretty stupid of me and I would have to be pretty thick to go out without permission again, I asked Emily first this time.

"Yes?" Emily turned to me; she had been wrapping up some unknown object.

"Um, Emily, Would it be alright it I go out to get some fresh air?" I tried my best to sound innocent.

Emily raised an eyebrow at me. "My goodness, Bella. I would've thought you'd understand that strolls in the forest aren't really in your best interests right now."

She was firm on not letting me out at first, but after I gave her all this grief about how I'm never, ever going to be here again and how much I'd miss it and how I'd always have a weight in my heart if I never even got to say goodbye to this place, I finally wore her down.

"One hour. That's _it._" She told me sternly. I smiled, and then walked out into the crisp forest air.

Breathing in the woodsy scent, I walked closer to the forest edge. What I told Emily wasn't exactly a lie, but I really didn't hold the forest that dearly in my heart. I would, probably, miss them though. But there would be forests where we're going to, or at least that's what I've been trying to tell myself.

I found the bench I'd been sitting in last time, but I didn't spare it a second glance. I really didn't needed to sit down, I feel like moving around would do me some good.

It was a while before I had realized how far into the forest I had gotten.

I pulled some stubborn tree branched out of my way before I walked into a clear meadow. The brightness of the afternoon sun without the trees covering ti blinded me momentarily, but my eyes quickly adjusted.

The yellowed grass rippled in the slight breeze, beckoning me to sit down. The place was so pretty, I didn't want to leave. I supposed my hour would be pretty much up, but I didn't care. I lay down, and wished everything would just fade away…

"Well, well, well…" A girly voice murmured from beyond the trees.

The next thing I saw was a blur of fiery red.

---

**A.n**.: AHAH. I'm mean, aren't I: ) I'll update soon, I promise. At least, it won't be weeks and weeks again. xD Okay, a bit about the Fei coven. Emily is the only one with a power, she can erase memories. She doesn't like doing it, because she feels it's disrespectful and violating a person's privacy. So, yes, Willam, Roran and Zaciel all have no powers whatsoever. Fanfics where every single vampire seems to have an amazingly strong power annoy me. I mean, powers are supposed to be really rare, so you wouldn't want to go around giving every single vampire one. xP And whether or not Bella has a power... well, you'll just have to wait.

Also, now that it has happened, Eddie will be ack pretty soon.

Oh, and someone asked me why I always call Edward 'Eddie'. Well, Edward always seems so serious and nonchalant, Eddie seems t give me the feeling that he's not always so serious. I don't know, maybe I'm just weird. At least I don't call him Eddie in the fanfic. xD

**REVIEW.** Or else I'm never updating again, ever. Ever. D:


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